To my readers

To those of you who are avid or occasional readers of this blog, I wanted to say that I’ve been working more hours lately with scarce internet access. I’m doing my best to keep putting up articles for you and Nick has been kind enough to fill in and do extra work while I’m “away”. If this blog should go severals days without an update, I can assure you that it hasn’t been abandoned and we’ll be back soon enough. In the meantime, let’s keep fighting the good fight!

Posted under Arts & Life, Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Thursday 18 September 2008 at 6:34 am

So Much for Society. Oh, and Could You Grab Me Some Depends While You’re Out?

Friday night I went to Hannaford’s, one of the local grocery stores, to pick up a few items. I left the store fuming after spending 15 minutes standing in line as the cashier and bagger stood around chatting with eachother, completely ignoring the line of customers. They would gab for two to three minutes between each customer’s order, didn’t make eye contact with any of the customers who stepped through their line and handed back change to the woman in front of me in the most rude way possible–without counting it and with the coins on top of the cash.

Is this really what our families are accepting as behavior from children, now? America has a lot of problems, but this is one that could easily be solved if only parents started instilling values in their children. Unfortunately, many families these days can’t be bothered with teaching their children proper manners or respect for their fellow human beings. Besides, if manners and morals are really that important, many families think that the government will teach those fundamentals at school. Sadly, that isn’t how the system works. Children will only learn how to respect others if they are taught at home in a family environment. A teacher in a classroom with 30 ill behaved 2nd graders is not equipped to teach much of anything, let alone proper etiquette! Parents, please start showing your children what constitutes proper behavior by behaving properly yourself. The first step in “fixing” the younger generation is for the older generation to fix itself.

I can’t believe I’m saying this as a 28 year old, but I do frequently become frustrated with the younger generation for its lack of a work ethic, lack of morals and general lack of social etiquette. If I have children, their education in morals and respect will be done at home without any unrealistic expectations that the government should do my job as a parent and instill proper values in my kids. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go drink my prune juice and drive very slowly across town.

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society by Coralie Solange on Sunday 14 September 2008 at 5:31 pm

Slap Me With That Spicy Sausage!

Every once in a while, a news story turns up that absolutely astounds me. Oh, the hilarity!

Authorities say they’ve arrested a man who broke into the home of two California farmworkers, stole money, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a sausage before fleeing.

Fresno County sheriff’s Lt. Ian Burrimond says 22-year-old Antonio Vasquez was found hiding in a field wearing only a T-shirt, boxers and socks after the Saturday morning attack.

He says deputies arrested Vasquez after finding a wallet containing his ID in the ransacked house.

The farmworkers told deputies the suspect woke them Saturday morning by rubbing spices on one of them and smacking the other with an 8-inch sausage.

The story does, however, have a serious side. The men who were rubbed down with spices and slapped with a sausage probably feel violated. I know that I would. Law enforcement wasn’t there to stop the violation from occurring–as always, they showed up later to document it. Lucky for these men they were only assaulted with a spice rack and some sausage, but thousands of Americans are not so lucky every year, and with increasingly strict gun laws, I’d expect to see more violent crimes happening inside of innocent people’s homes.

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Monday 8 September 2008 at 10:42 am

Vote Obama: Hope to Change America One Vague Idea at a Time

Each generation has a defining moment–a moment that goes down in history and will be remembered forever as that generation’s predominant achievement. This generation’s moment is coming in November with the possible election of Barack Obama to the White House. This moment will mark a turning point in American history which can’t easily be likened to any moment before it in America.

No, to find similar moments in history, one must look to foreign leaders; great men like Lenin and Mao, those most distinguished of men who operated on hope to bring about change in the nations they loved. Obama promises immense change and lots of hope. Hope and change are things we need in America today. Without hope and without change, all we have is America. All we have is the shell of a nation without hope for the change it really needs. But Obama puts those most nebulous ideals of hope and change at our fingertips so we can hope to change America.

I don’t know what it is that we’re hoping to change. I just hope that we’re hoping to change, period, because the stagnation of America, both economically and socially, gives us reason to hope for change so that we can once again have hope. Without hope, we can’t have change. Without change, we’ll never have hope. We need both, and Obama is the only candidate who can offer up those amorphous ideas with any real luster.

Let’s hope to change our nation to be more like those others, to be more like the Chinese and the Soviets, those great nations which also hoped to change and have never been the same since. Let’s finally elect a man with enough hope for us all so that change will finally happen.

Obama is a man with a dream. Theorizing that he could change America within his own lifetime, Barack Obama ran for the office of President. He awoke to find himself trapped in the present, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Michelle, an observer from his own personal life, who appears in the form of his wife. And so Barack Obama finds himself leaping from speech to speech, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next speech will be the speech to the White House. Let us help him get there!

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Monday 1 September 2008 at 11:14 am

Denver Police Show Great Restraint by Not Shooting Motherf*cking Protesters

With the DNC starting today in Denver, I almost wish I were still there. I have no desire to see the likes of Obama (or any other Democrats, for that matter), but I would like to be around to feel the atmosphere, to lock myself into a “free speech” cage and to gaze longingly at the Pepsi Center as I realize that with hockey season about to start, I won’t be there to see the Avs play.

Bourque & Roy with Stanley Cup

I don’t know if I’m just more in tune with the news from Denver or if the city of Denver is far more fascist than Minneapolis, but I haven’t heard about many civil rights violations coming out of Minneapolis with the Republican and Ron Paul conventions in town. What I do know is that the city of Denver has cracked down on civil rights, abolished freedom and basically given its already questionable police-state force unlimited authority to stomp dissenters.

In fact, according to the Westword, which is the Denver Metro area’s biggest independent newspaper, the cops were overheard at an anarchist protest proclaiming, “I just want to shoot these motherf*ckers so bad!” It was a nice show of restraint on the part of the police to allow the pesky anarchists to continue living through the end of the rally. Unfortunately for the anarchists, the Denver police-state doesn’t take kindly to people who don’t believe in the police state.

The march ended roughly four and a half hours after it began, when police were able to box in the anarchists on Stout Street between 15th and 16th, forcing nearly half of the group to escape into a parking garage. The people that ran into the garage were pursued by officers on motorcycle and, later, several white police vans were seen driving into the building.

If you’d like to keep up to date on the latest civil liberties abuses occurring in Denver during the DNC, keep an eye on the Westword.

Posted under Arts & Life, Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Monday 25 August 2008 at 6:57 am

Best Anti-Drug Site Ever

We all know that I’m not a fan of the “War on Drugs”, nor am I likely to endorse anything related to it. But this website, Try Drugs, is seriously the coolest anti-drug propaganda site ever. If anybody out there is good with code, the pro-freedom people should really put together an anti-War on Drugs website cool enough to rival this one. Please leave a comment if you know of such a site that’s already up and running.

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Thursday 14 August 2008 at 4:37 am

Unscrupulous Tow Company

Fresh from the WTF file, I bring news of a tow company in Chicago which erected no parking signs during a parade and then towed over 50 vehicles that were parked prior to the signs being erected. At $170 a pop, the dirty thieves at Rendered Towing (note: don’t EVER call rendered towing in Chicago) made out like bandits…until a rash of calls to the police regarding entire lots full of missing vehicles prompted investigation into the company’s actions.

Police on the scene said they’d heard many radio calls about towing from vacant lots in the area, and most involved Rendered. Police said at one point they had to stop trucks from yanking the cars because the signage was erected after the 10 a.m. start of the parade.

About 50 cars were towed from a lot at 51st and Indiana. Owners argued they would not have risked towing fees had there been signs.

Talk about dirty business practices. Unfortunately for the crooked owners of Rendered Towing in Chicago, they’re getting a lot of bad press out of their actions and hopefully they’ll be unwoefully put out of business ASAP.

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Monday 11 August 2008 at 6:24 pm

Free Your Own Information–Mine’s Classified

The Freedom of Information Act was put in place on July 4, 1966. Since then, millions of pages of government documents have been declassified and released to the public–almost entirely blacked out. A good example is a document obtained by the ACLU which was written in regards to CIA torture techniques. The document actually leaves enough visible to guess that they’re talking about torture and that the general assertion of the document is that the Justice Department doesn’t believe that torture is illegal, bad or ya know, torture. However, with so much blacked out, I can’t help but wonder what we’re not being told if they’re willing to admit that they approve of torture.

I’m reminded of my high school days when I was a Beatles obsessed teen who would do anything to get my hands on as much information about John Lennon as possible. And so, in one online search, I came across his utterly ridiculous FBI files. I sometimes wonder if the US government withholds documents not for the fear of reprisal for misdeeds but rather for fear of being exposed as a bunch of nitwits who think a parrot holds the key to national security. Right on!

What a waste of taxpayer money to fight the declassification of a file about a talking bird all the way to the Supreme Court. What a waste of taxpayer money to have written the report in the first place. The simple truth of the matter is that the US government bureaucracy has so many millions of pages of documents that it’s probably easier to simply release them blacked out than to actually take the time to read its own documents to determine if they contain any information that would tarnish its <sarcasm> stellar </sarcasm> reputation.

And so I sit here wondering what my own FBI file might say about me. Perhaps it says that I talk baby talk to my cats, that I don’t like to get dressed unless I have to, I like to eat pickles with ranch dressing and that I spend too much time on the internet. Wow. That sounds like classified information to me! Get out the black marker. We’ve got work to do.

Posted under Arts & Life, Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Thursday 24 July 2008 at 2:55 pm

The Greener the Fascist, the Harder He Falls

Few things irk me more than uneducated fools throwing out the term “fascist” as an insult when the insult isn’t deserved.  People know that there’s something bad about being a fascist, but they have no idea what the term really means, nor do they comprehend what’s so bad about it. A simple enough definition of fascism from dictionary.com is:

A governmental system led by a dictator having complete power, forcibly suppressing opposition and criticism, regimenting all industry, commerce, etc., and emphasizing an aggressive nationalism and often racism.

I’m on a fascist rant right now because I just witnessed a horrific display of ignorance in which Ron Paul was accused of being a fascist because he supports a more decentralized government.  I mean…what?  Ron Paul supports limited government, Constitutional rights, states’ rights, individual rights (except for women’s rights in the area of abortion issues, which is a sore subject for me).  Basically, he’s anything but a fascist!

The other thing that drives me crazy about the term fascist is that liberals tend to bandy it back and forth in reference to anyone who supports individual rights–those crazy fascists–but absolutely refuse to recognize their own big government fascist tendencies.  Yes, forcing me to pay for your welfare constitutes a form of fascism.  Yes, forcing me to use CFL bulbs constitutes fascism as well.

The biggest liberal fascist threat in coming years, aside from government healthcare, is the increasing tendency for liberals to lean towards environmental fascism.  There are plenty of respected scientific sources who dispute the doomsday global warning threats.  In fact, CBC produced a highly informative documentary on the subject.  But, liberals lambast scientists who disagree with the Gorian view of the environment.  They suppress studies which dispute or criticize their own “work”.  And they pass laws which force entire states and nations to “go green” despite the fact that “going green” may have more negative effects than what we’re currently doing, and despite the fact that by using force on us, they’re being FASCISTS!

At this juncture, I’d like to point out that ethanol fuel is responsible for much of our recent food price increases.  It’s not sane to take millions of pounds of corn from our food supply and expect that we’ll continue to enjoy the same low food prices.  In addition, corn farming requires massive quantities of water and therefore the overall “positive” effects of increased ethanol use are debatable. There is also a new law in the US which will force all US citizens to use CFL bulbs instead of incandescent bulbs. What most people don’t realize is that CFL bulbs are filled with mercury, which is highly toxic and deadly. The quantities in a single bulb are small and the EPA assures us that the bulbs don’t pose a health risk. However, do you really want to risk breaking one in your home with small children present? Do you really want to wait and see what happens when uninformed or lazy people dispose of them improperly and our entire water supply becomes contaminated with mercury? And besides the risk of mercury poisoning, many Americans don’t live anywhere near a CFL bulb disposal facility, meaning that they’ll have to drive for hours to properly dispose of the bulbs, releasing carbon dioxide emissions into the atmosphere and entirely negating the entire point of the CFL bulbs.

Ok, so this blog entry is a little long, a little rambling, and all over the place topic-wise. The point that I’m really trying to lay out there is that if you’re going to call someone a fascist, you’d better be damn sure that you’re not one yourself first.

Posted under Humor & Satire, Politics, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Thursday 17 July 2008 at 9:18 pm

Dr. Who?

When I was a child, my Catholic mother made me go to church with her on a regular basis on Sunday mornings. I was never a fan of church. I found it boring and the idea that everything (or anything) in the Bible could possibly be true was something that I simply couldn’t wrap my little mind around. Even today—although I now understand the basic human desire to believe in a higher power, life after death, to have answers to explain where we came from and where we’re going—I simply don’t understand how anyone could take the Bible literally, and I myself don’t find any comfort in the thought of sitting in a church listening to a priest tell me how wrong I’ve been or how some invisible omnipotent being is watching me. Personally, I take more comfort in the idea that once I die, it’s all over than the idea that I’ll go to some perfect heaven or indescribable hell. I take more comfort in helping those less fortunate because I want to than because I must. Sadly, I’m a terrible Catholic.

As punishment for arguing with my mom and refusing to go to church in grade school, I was made to stay home and watch Dr. Who on PBS with my dad. I feel the same way about Dr. Who that I feel about Catholicism—there’s no way these fantastical story lines could be true, and although I understand the basic human desire to believe that we’re not alone in the universe, I doubt if it’s possible to time travel back and forth to the ends of the universe in a phone booth (although in Tom Baker’s defense, he did wear a pretty cool scarf).

It may sound silly to compare Catholicism and Dr. Who, but there really are some interesting parallels, most of which revolve around the human need to know that we’re not alone in the universe and my extreme dislike of them. Both Catholicism and Dr. Who do have some redeeming qualities, though. Catholicism does give some people great comfort and happiness, and I even refer to myself as a Catholic, although I mean it in a non-practicing ethnic sort of sense. Dr. Who’s major redeeming quality, in my eyes, is that oh so awesome Tom Baker scarf. In fact, a friend knitted a similar scarf which I’m now in possession of and there’s nothing more fun early in the morning than to prance around the house in it pretending to slay very cheesy looking aliens.

If you aren’t Catholic, it might be a good idea to insert your own religion into this blog entry every time I used the word Catholic, and from that, you can decide if your life is better with religion or with Dr. Who (although they’re both a form of punishment to me).

Posted under Arts & Life, Humor & Satire, Society, Uncategorized by Coralie Solange on Sunday 22 June 2008 at 8:19 am

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